| My husband and I played since Beta, were playing EQPC while we waited for WoW...we started playing and never looked back. Started off casual and played like that for years--didn't really get the whole end game raiding thing. Burning Crusade came out and we got into a guild that did raiding...entered 25m raiding with SSC and 10m raiding with Karazhan for the first time and we were hooked overnight. From then, our involvement ramped up until our normal play time every day was at LEAST 4-5 hours. We eventually made our own guild where my husband was the GM and raid leader for TWO 10 mans AND a 25m. Meanwhile, our real world disappeared, we became sedentary, didn't walk the dogs, exercise at all, and ate horribly. Although we haven't gotten very overweight, we are in the worst shape of our lives and if our playing were to continue, we WOULD be huge in another year of this lifestyle. A few days ago we told our guild we're quitting the game, and everyone is just blown away that we won't be playing anymore. Thankfully they are supportive, and we are handing over the reins to others, and have distributed all of our goods to the guild and friends. Life is already getting better--we're riding our bikes, taking walks, going out and enjoying this beautiful world that we live in. Two nights ago we walked down to our seasonal pond and listened to the frogs singing, and looked up at the stars. There is so much more to life than a bunch of pixels moving around on the screen. Remember that if it hurts to lose the characters you've made and spent so much time on, stop for a moment and realize that every one of them exists within you and when you stop playing, they will always be with you, as facets in your personality. Don't feel sad that they are "dying" or "going to sleep forever"...these characters are only as far away as a thought or image in your head. We surrounded ourselves with junkies like ourself so we didn't have to see the truth, and we agree that most people we know in game are people we'd never want to know out of game...but we HAVE met a couple of people that we will continue to be friends with in real life. 2 out of hundreds is pretty sad though...it makes you stop and think, doesn't it? Today is a new day. It's a day without WoW. And it feels really, really good. |
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My WoW Detox Post
I went to visit the WoW Detox site and was tickled to see that my post made it onto the first page! Here it is:
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I hope you don't mind me commiserating; I saw your post on Wowdetox. I've tried for several months to quit WoW--cold turkey didn't work. I kept going back. But my play time diminished steadily, and haven't touched it for a month now. WOOT!
ReplyDeleteBut I miss my friends there. Only a couple. And my guild, which was low-key and friendly, and full of grown-ups, not some of the rude little kids you run into.
What's odd for me is I'm way past 30. My two best friends in-game were noobs like me, so we learned stuff the hard way and taught the game to each other as we leveled up. We never talked much about our real lives, so it was MONTHS before we discussed our ages. They're both early teens--ouch! I remember farming lots of gold to buy them stuff from the AH for their bdays. Now I feel like the guy arrested on TV as some teen predator, though of course I wasn't, and we never met (different states) or talked outside the game and never gave real names, so I didn't do anything wrong, but I know from the outside it can seem strange.
Whole point of this long post, I guess, is that I was able to be friends with them in-game. My orc, their troll and undead: age didn't matter, just killing raptors etc did, and we had a lot of fun helping each other out. They were just decent people to be around. No way can I be friends with them outside the game--just too weird and creepy. So stopping playing means aloha forever to them.
NOT that they were my best friends, and at their age, they'll probably forget me pretty soon, so this is not a big drama. Only that they were my best friends in-game, so no chance of staying in touch as I would with adults. I guess I felt like an uncle to them or something; it really bothered me if their toons died or if another player was rude to them--I felt protective of them, even if it was just a game. Anyway, you don't want to give up your nieces and nephews even though they're not your kids.
Well, just wondering how you're coping with the goodbyes. You were a lot more entrenched than I was. But maybe that makes it easier to leave. I was still learning stuff when I quit, so I had never reached "the end." But I did reach the point where my WoW addiction was putting an end to me, so it had to stop.
Having trouble posting here while logged in, so if you care to respond: boo.barnes@hotmail.com
And, CONGRATULATIONS on quitting and enjoying life again!
Hi Boo! Welcome to my Blog, and thank you for such an in-depth response to this post! GRATS for being "clean" for a month! WOOT! We stopped at almost the same time!
ReplyDeleteYou know, it was the opposite for us in terms of quitting WoW...we tried many times to dial back our game time but we just couldn't do it. There was always some excuse to keep playing and we were happy to forget about our deal every time. We realized that the only way we'd be successful was doing it cold-turkey.
In regards to making friends...yes, I have had many friends of all ages, including youngsters. Steve is 47 and I'm 46, so we actually got to the point where we didn't really want to tell people how old we were because we'd be teased about it by many to some degree. Our best friends were folks over 30, though we had many friends in the 20-30 bracket, and a few between 18-19. After a number of mishaps with teenagers in our guild, we closed the door to them and though I have always been very friendly towards the younger crowd, I distanced myself when I found out they were kids. They would always be too needy, whiny, or flakey and just not worth the effort for a friend. Also, our guild is full of adults who don't mind naughty language/jokes and we didn't want to be policing chat and vent.
Coping with goodbyes...that was really hard. We talked to our closest friends in vent when we made the decision to stop...but really it was Steve talking because I was in tears and would only type messages to them while I listened. Steve had a hard time telling people we were leaving too. Extremely emotional and hard to do.
For weeks before we decided to stop, we thought that we just COULDN'T stop. We were the guild leaders. We ran raids. They NEEDED us! Well...in the end we discovered that they didn't need us at all.
Do I miss the few people I consider my friends? (When I mean friends, I mean that I would love to hang out with them in real life.) Yes I do. It's hard not to talk to them every day. But...I don't try to contact them because I mean...what's the point? What do we actually have in common outside the game? And honestly, chatting with them would be bad because I'd want to be with them in the game...do some instances together, do a raid...hang out and have fun...uh, NO. AIN'T gonna happen. Maybe down the road I'll contact them but not yet. I miss them a lot, dammit, and it does hurt to think about them.
Our hope is to make new friends around here. We joined a hiking group and maybe we'll make friends there. Also there is a cycling club we'll join. The point is that we need other friends that we make in the real world, not in WoW.
Thanks very much for the grats! It's wonderful to be free of this game, let me tell you!! :)
P.S. I'll send this note to you via email as well if I don't see any response here after a day or two! :)
Hey, thanks for your response and helping me keep things in perspective. You're exactly right, going back in game for "how ya been?" would lead to more instances, etc. And then if you leave again, I can see it causing hard feelings.
ReplyDeleteThe main guild I was in (out of several) was great because it targeted adults, and adult chat is so different than kid chat (like endless fart jokes). We let them in, but they usually left on their own since we were "boring." Fine with us. But I never bonded with them the way I did with my fellow noobs learning the game.
Such great news that you and Steve are so quickly finding friends in RL! It's taking me a bit longer, but I'm not too worried about it since I had friends before. Anyway, thanks again. Good to know I'm not alone in this. Some people on Wowdetox either say they quit cold turkey & no problems, or others say they cut back a lot and no problems either. Neither route worked for me!
Hi again! :) Glad my comments have helped you. It's certainly been on my mind enough!
ReplyDeleteJust a clarification on the whole RL friends thing. We joined a hiking club and were set to do a hike at the beginning of the month but it was rained out, so we'll try again on April 7's hike. I've chatted in short notes with a few of them but at this point, the whole RL friends thing isn't actually a reality yet! :) Of course we have a few RL friends, but not many. It will be very nice to change that. Since we moved up to southern Oregon, we made and then distanced ourselves from a couple of people we'd befriended, so we really need to work on this!
Just wanted you to know that we are a total work in progress...across the board! :)
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ReplyDeleteMy question: if you're so happy with your life playing WoW, why are you going to WoW Detox? Furthermore, why are you then going to my blog, which is focused on support for people who've had problems playing WoW, and complaining about my poll? The reason I didn't provide a choice for "Still playing WoW but in a healthy manner" is because this is a website originally created for WoW junkies (which is has evolved into a personal journal as well).
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think you're in denial, but that's just me. I do believe it's possible to play WoW without becoming a junkie, but I think you're one and you don't want to admit it. Why would you spend so much time trying to defend your lifestyle?
Your comment seems a lot like something a trade troll would write, so I'm not saying anything else about this.
Well I'm sorry you recieved my comment so badly, I surely didn't mean to sound like a trade Troll. I just wanted to tell you that there's more good things about WoW then you perceive. :)
ReplyDeleteI found your blog via a blogroll on a WoW blog.
Ok, that's fair. Yes, there are lots of great things about WoW...after all, I played it for over 5 years so of course I would agree. It's just that the fun stuff can become so addictive that it slowly turns into something entirely different. Soon you "need" to pick herbs, cap your skills in every profession, make sure to use your cooldowns, keep your auctions up...it goes on and on and on...
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that WoW slowly pulls you in so that all that fun stuff will eventually eat most people alive, and they end up being addicts.
I see your point about the poll and about how the blog is meant for WoW addicts, and I was in a bit of a rush writing the wall of text to tell you about my own different experience, which is why I deleted the comment. I was simply a bit taken aback by your very small list of things you're taking with you, because I honestly believe that mine would be very long -- but, apologies again, it didn't really belong here! I wish you all the best and am sorry for upsetting you.
ReplyDelete*hugs* It's ok, and I apologize for jumping on you when you really didn't mean any harm.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you too! Thank you for visiting! :)